The lies of love

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The deception of love is shown throughout the essay "The Love Bloat" by

Andrew Sullivan. Despite the knowledge and opinions convincing otherwise, our culture

still thrives on love as its hope for happiness, with the persuasion that the only other

option is loneliness. The burn that the lonely people feel on days such as Valentines, "if

Cheap custom essay on the lies of love

it knocks romance off its Hallmark pedestal" (60), is more rewarding than the lies that

drive us in and leave us only to keep searching for something that is not real to "conquer

us". The real conquer is not the chase and rewards but the relationship itself. The love

that our culture teaches us to thrive for is nothing more than pure infatuation.

Our culture often gives us the idea that this great infatuation is supposed to have

rewards seen in movies such as the Wedding Planner. So many movies today place

emphasis on the fairytale endings. Whether it is that the couple is separated worlds apart

or somebody is getting in the way, the idea portrayed through such endings is that no

matter what happens that everything always turns out perfectly. With our culture

concentrating so much on the benefits and rewards of this untrue romance, we often

forget to realize the downsides. We don't seem to remember the empty feeling it leaves

with us when the romance is over, nor do we remember all the times we've been hurt

before. We don't realize how diverting this romance can be to anyone and everyone.

Sullivan said "It diverts us with phony adrenaline, teases us

with jealousy, hooks us with sex […] It is so diverting that we tend to forget more

pressing questions, like what to believe in or strive for" (60). All the people in our

culture can see the things Sullivan expresses are extremely realistic and possible to

happen. Unfortunately our culture is so caught up with the idea that they won't get hurt.

The intelligent people in our culture can even be overtaken by the deceptive feeling of

infatuate love.

People such as Sullivan who use intimidating words and quotes from famous

authors of the 1th century, proving him to be a very well educated man. In the sense of

this romance everyone is on the same level. The young, old, rich, poor, intelligent, and

all the in between are all capable of the same feelings that come along with infatuation.

The sarcasm, pessimism, and realism are constant attitudes Sullivan uses

throughout his essay suggesting he also felt the burn at one time or another. He is a

romantic who wants to believe in romance, but has experienced the downside, making

him resentful, and bitter. The way he contradicts all the highs of the romance

perceived by our culture with the reality of how things really are according to him, is due

to bitterness alone. Sullivan, with such a strong stand point and firm belief on this

subject can be described in one word; lonely.

A romance that is not real is the kind many people experience, often leaving them

lonely, only to keep searching for this love our culture teaches us is the answer. They are

yet to realize that as Sullivan states, it "conquers nothing… It contains neither the

friendship nor civility that makes marriage successful" (60). Only when people

understand this, will they know the successfulness of being happy is not dependant on

this unreal infatuation, but on the small things in life. The small things, such as true

feelings like friendship and affection, are keys to happiness. Loneliness after all isn't the

only alternative to 'love'.

Sullivan, Andrew. "The Love Bloat." Literature for Composition, 6th ed. Ed. Sylvan Barnet. New York Longman, 00. 608-60.

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