Monday, December 7, 2020

Invisible Perfection

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Purpose to allow the reader to feel what it feels like to have a deadly disease like anorexia nervosa

Audience anyone with an interest in the impact of eating disorders on peoples lives

Invisible Perfection

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You reach your house and I am standing on your front doorstep, beckoning you with my slender fingers to follow. Next to me you feel worthless. Let me take you by the hand into my world. You can choose either to struggle or allow us to merge into one being. I am all that is beautiful and perfect. You look into my eyes and you see immense power.

I walk with you through the door and up the steps to your room. Your parents dont even notice the waif goddess beside you. As we enter your dark room, I turn those hateful lights on. I, the beautiful stranger removes your clothes and guides you to the full length mirror. No, Ø you wince." I cant do it. I say nothing, but push you firmly toward the harsh reflector and you turn away. There is nothing that you wish to see but I command you in that deep, sultry, sexy voice. You have no choice but to obey and open your eyes, seeing all that you fear and more you are grotesque, horrifying.

My gnarly hand grabs your plump little fist and I dig my fingernails into you as you yelp with pain. If you listen to me and do not fight I will allow us to be one. I will control your every action, scream at the back of your mind and tell you what to do. Intense guilt will strangle you if you neglect my commands. After all, do you want to revert back into that pathetic, underachieving child that you used to be until I made to into the epitome of perfection? Respect me! I was the one that created you, that sculpted that perfect body and straightened those white teeth into a dazzling smile. I turned your life around for the better! Do not go against me or I will depress you to the extent that you want to die.

I, your waif mother wraps you in my arms. You are my child, my pupil, my slave, and my greatest fan. I put you into my bed, beneath the blankets that seem to have no end and stroke your hair, holding you, embracing you my child. Sleep well, child I whisper, and my cool lips sting your cheek.

It is morning and the blanket is gone and you are crying, wailing, moaning and screaming for help. What is that you say? That you are not happy? That you were happier and better off without me? How dare you relish at the fact that you are going against me you greedy little pig. Yes, of course it is hard! Who said that this would be a simple task? Perhaps if you were stronger and a better human being then we would both be happy, both at peace with one another. You ask me what you did to deserve this but isn't the answer blatantly obvious? Everyone is born a certain way but we all have choices. We can choose to be strong or choose to be lazy and weak. I am here to show you that those without willpower must turn their lives around. I know better and I will turn you into someone that is flawless you will shine.

I take away your struggle to fit in with kids your age, the struggle of trying to please everyone. Because now, I am your only friend, and I am the only one you need to please. I have a weak spot, but we must not tell anyone. If you decide to fight back, to reach out to someone and tell them about how I make you live, all hell will break lose. No one must find out, no one can crack this shell that I have covered you with. I have created you, this thin, perfect, achieving child- you are mine and mine alone. Without me, you are nothing, so do not fight back. When others comment, ignore them. Take it into stride, forget about them, and forget about everyone that tries to take me away. I am your greatest asset, and I intend to keep it that way.

You fool! Now that I have control over you I will change everything you think and distort all that is true. That self hatred that gnawing away at your mind takes a different form, it becomes even more intense and eats away at you day by day. You lie under the covers, shivering in the cold. You cry and secretly, subconsciously, wish that I would leave you. But if you try to push me away I will push back ten times harder. When you walk down the street you feel the pavement shake beneath your pressure. You tread lightly praying that you will not dint the surface and I laugh because you are mine.

WORD COUNT 805 words

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