Monday, July 5, 2021


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I have always been told that our mistakes develop our character, that we are educated in life's lessons as we learn for ourselves the do's and don'ts of life. 'Mistakes are good for you as long as you learn from them,' Dad would always say to me. Well I tend to repeat my mistakes so often that they border on becoming habits. My life would be so much easier if I could learn from my mistakes the first time I make them.

For instance one particularly memorable morning of mine I woke up at my boyfriends house with no memory of how I got there. After a while it came back to me. There had been a promotion at work. A party. My boyfriend and tequila shots. All my friends were there. After one shot I started to feel so good and relaxed. Just a couple more drinks. The next thing I knew I was doing a shot with anyone I could find. Then there I was dancing, throwing my arms around and twirling and twisting in a drunken imitation of MTV music videos. I remember my boyfriend and I arriving at his house after the party. He was asking me to get out of the truck. I was sitting there wondering how I would get out without using my legs. I was in a deep contemplation about why I could not move my arms or legs. I felt so content to just sit there in a drunken stupor.

I should have learned that I could not hold my alcohol the first time I woke up in a strange place. Every time it happened I would promise myself never to do it again. I should have learned self control. But I had to make this mistake many other times before my education in this subject was complete. How much time would I have saved if I had learned from my mistake the first time I made it?

Another mistake I should have learned from is lying. In this instance I was invited over to the home of an acquaintance for dinner. Lisa was an older woman my mothers age

whom I had lived with for a year or so when I first moved to Las Vegas. I was now living on my own and rarely saw her. I ate with her once a week, saturday night, because I was obligated to continue my relationship with her. Well one week I really didn't want to go. I wanted a night to my self, didn't want to deal with all the boring small talk and politeness. So I told her that I couldn't come because my mothers birthday was that night (which it was) and that my family was having a party for her (which it wasn't). I figured that there was no way that she would find out because she doesn't talk to my family. So I made my excuses with her and she was disappointed but fine with it because after all family is important.

I thought I had gotten away with it until the next week when I came over she was asking me all sorts of questions about the party. Who was there, what did we do, was it fun? I had a gut felling that she knew I had lied. I just knew she knew. I spent the night racking my brain trying to figure out how she could have found out. After a while it came to me that she went to church with my sister Retta. So I called Retta and asked her if she had talked to Lisa that sunday. As it turns out she had talked to her. Lisa had asked her how that party for our mother went and Retta had told her that here had been no party. So I had to call Lisa and apologize to her. She was not upset at all she understood I need some nights to do my own thing.

I was so embarrassed at being caught in a lie. The next time I saw her I couldn't even look her in the eye. The bad thing was that I knew that I was old enough to know better. I spent my childhood learning not to lie. I need to learn from my mistakes the first time around. If I did my life would be so much simpler and easier.

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