Wednesday, February 3, 2021

College essay

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When describing myself, there are many ways with can be done. Do I tell you that I have curly brown hair, brown eyes, short, with a medium build, or do I tell you that I talk incessantly, cackle when I laugh, and absolutely love life. I feel the need to wear my soul on my sleeve, willing to tell everyone almost anything about myself. I am very trusting of people, often too trusting. I am a very trustworthy person; I take everything to the grave, and expect others to do the same. In a nutshell, that's me.

My physical appearance has changed significantly over the years. As a child, my nickname was skinny, in Spanish. I was always a very small child. I was average height, until about sixth grade, when I became tall. I am still the same height as I was when I hit my growth spurt today, and I will die this height. I had sleeping problems, which caused there to be hollows under my eyes. I hadn't discovered my curly hair, or what to do about it quite yet. As a child, I was not attractive.

When I was in middle school, my appearance only changed slightly. Now dancing thirty hours a week, I was skinnier than ever, to the point where people mistook my size for having an eating disorder. Being that I was thirteen, I was aloud to wear a little bit of make-up. The make-up helped hide the hollows under my eyes. Puberty had brought me hips, which where a sight to see on my lanky body. Finally, I noticed that I had curly hair, and I learned how to style it properly. I had grown it out to be down to my middle by the end of seventh grade. My hair has always been an aspect of myself that I am proud of, and take much pride in physically.

Today I have grown into the body of a woman. I do not hold any shame for my height today, although I do wear shoes to make myself appear taller. Today, my hair is still my pride and joy physically. The idea of wearing make-up has gone from thrilling to depressing, but a girl should always look her best in public. As a student representing for all the groups that I do belong to, I should try to represent them, as well as Lee high school in its best possible light. I am a girl of many visages, which is an alternative way that I chose to communicate. The signs of a girl deep in thought can be well experienced with a glance at my face. Senior year should begin to finish the mold for what I will look like for the remainder of my life, just as my mother's did.

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My mother is my best friend, and my biggest enemy. Already at my age I have realized how similar I am to her, and she to her mother. We take care of each other, always. We help each other when we fight with other family members and when one needs cash; the other one always is there. I look so much like my mother it's scary. Our only difference is our hair, her hair is straight, and my hair is curly. Our laughs are the same, we adore sleep more than anything else, and unless we are burning our candle on both ends, we do not know how to handle life, or manage our time. My mother is the single most important person in my life.

Family relations are something very important in my family. My aunt and uncle live next door with three of my cousins. I have another aunt and uncle living half an hour away with two more cousins. My other aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents live within a short road trip or a quick flight. I speak on the telephone with all of my family at least once a week, or we communicate through e-mail. My family has always been very a very close knit group, and I feel very fortunate to have them all in my life.

An object that is very special to me is my one of my key chains. I have two best friends, one of which is in college, and the other one is a year younger than I am. The friend still in high school and I bought matching key chains for the three of us while on vacation together during spring break 00. The key chain is a little silver book with a quote by Charles Dickinson on the back. The quote says "The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again." Those words are what I keep close to my heart whenever I want to cry at the thought of being so far from one of my dearest friends.

If you were to ask my friends how they would describe me, they would probably answer with "trustworthy" and "excited." I do not lie, and I am known for keeping secrets. If someone needs someone to talk to confidentially, I am whom he or she comes to. If an activity I'm involved in ask something of me, I only agree if I can do it, and I always keep my compromises. In that respect, my sponsors trust me and think of me as a responsible individual. I keep a lot on my plate, but I do not want to be in the position where I let someone down because I could not fulfil a compromise. I am known as excited because I am incapable of being lugubrious or discontented for long. I am also easily excitable, and easy to please. I am a very content individual.

An impression people often get from me which is false is that I am a "weird" drama person. I act because the stage is what keeps me centered. I am a naturally outgoing person, and I have very little shame, and these are qualities a good performer needs. I do not, however, behave myself in the manor that is often thought of as "weird," and "different." I behave myself as "normal" as anyone else; I just have a passion. It angers me that some people do not want to associate themselves with me because of my extra curricular activities. The people who are mature enough to see through the stereotype and take the time to get to know me usually find that they truly enjoy the person behind the image. This image is one I look forward to loosing the most when I go off to college.

The person that I am today is one of many qualities. On the outside I am known for image, jokingly as the "fashion police" never breaking a rule myself. These qualities all transcend from my mother, being that she is the vainest person I know. I have spent my entire life having to dress to every occasion. I have never been aloud to go out in public without putting effort in my appearance. Due to this, I have a hard time with friends when they roll out of bed, or just dress without thought. I sometimes expect from those around me what has always been expected of me, but it is wrong to think that way. I have improved my attitude dramatically from what it used to be, and I hope I can continue to improve.

I have been raised around adults, and adult conversation my entire life. My cousins are considerably younger than I am, being that in comparison the next eldest is my younger sister, and I am four years her elder. I have never joined in playing with my cousins because of this fact; I have always been the baby-sitter. When I grow tired of this I often join the adults in their conversation, and I am very fortunate to have been aloud to do this. I learned how to handle adult conversation at a very young age, which is a very valuable lesson. I have been above my years in maturity for years, which has always proven hard for me to find peers my own age that I feel I can truly relate to. I find it humorous that at the same time, at this moment in my life, the person whom I best relate to is actually a year younger than I am. She is also a person who has grown with adults, and therefore is capable of adult conversation, which I yearn for. Meeting her has been one of the best things to happen to me.

Dance, theater, and anything that has to do with performing, are all things that control my life. The stage runs my life, as if has since the age of three. I started out dancing, and have trained in many styles, but ballet is my strength, followed by character. The feeling that I get on stage means more to me then anything, the fear, the hours of rehearsal, the tears, the lack of time for almost anything else. Without it I don't feel complete. My whole family life is based around my sister and I performing. She dances competitively, and I act now, no longer competing. Our family vacation is always based off where my sister's national dance competition is going to be held. We have family come visit on the weekends of my plays so that they can come and watch. I stopped dancing and started acting at the end of my sophomore year, and I'm grateful that I waited that long, because its hard to be your own person when you spend all your time creating a character, figuring out how to be someone else. My life is the stage.

In my life I have many weaknesses. One of these weaknesses is that I trust people easier than I probably should. I expect of people what they can expect of me, as well as treat them as I expect to be treated. With this in mind, I share what is on my mind when I feel the need to share that information. I do not tend to ask people about the information in their own lives because I figure if they would like my knowing, they will tell me themselves. I wear my soul on my sleeve, and often that has come back to haunt me. As much as I know I should keep certain things to myself if I do not want my personal affairs spread, I continue to trust people and in turn continue to trust them. I honestly do not know how to better this weakness without becoming a closed off person to the world. If I closed myself off I would never be happy.

Another weakness in my life is my need for sleep. I will put sleep before personal responsibilities always. If I become too tired to finish my homework, then I will simply sleep and suffer the consequences. This is what has kept my GPA at what it is today, because homework does play a large role in an overall grade. I have no problem waking up in the morning; my weakness lies in staying awake in the evening. Ever since I entered high school I have become the queen of power naps, my means for keeping me refreshed and going. If I didn't overbook myself perhaps I could get to bed at a decent time everyday, and would no longer suffer from my need of sleep.

Along with my weaknesses, I have many strengths. One of my strengths is language. I feel comfortable carrying on conversations in foreign languages, and love them very much. I hope to double major in foreign languages and international relations. I currently speak Spanish and French fluently, along with English. If I can use these talents in my career, I would be happy for the rest of my life. I want to travel, and possibly spend some years living in France. That is my dream from the bottom of my heart. In traveling I would be able to practice my other languages, something I feel I never get to do quite enough.

A second strength of mine would have to be my people skills. I am a very outgoing person, and therefore have no problem speaking to people. My job allows me to put these people skills to use, working at a hair salon, and that people love to talk. My people skills are something that is very important to have, and am glad I have. Being class treasurer I have to deal with my entire class, and if I had no people skills this class would not elect me to represent them, nor would they feel comfortable approaching me with questions. Student feedback is what this class thrives on, and without people skills, I could not give and receive feedback. Again, I am glad that I have people skills.

My greatest fear is of failing. If I do not graduate from college and make something of myself I will be able to even look myself in the mirror. I'm scared that I might go off to college and spend all of my time on the social part of the college life, and none of my time concentrating on my studies. If I do not graduate I will not succeed to my full potential in this life. I worry about this, because while I refuse to let down other people, I have no trouble letting down myself. If not following through on a responsibility is not hurting anyone other than myself, I will have no problem skipping it. While I am not a procrastinator, I am someone who has a demanding schedule, so I eliminate things from it as I see fit. This scares me about myself, because I fear that one-day it may be my downfall, where I stumble. If I fall hard enough, I may never be able to get back up again. That particular thought haunts my every second. I am destine to be something great, and I can't settle on something second rate, I only desire the best. To achieve the best, you must prove yourself worthy, and I do not believe that I will be able to succeed in doing so.

In my consideration, my greatest education has been in high school. I do not feel that anything academically connected directly is what has been my greatest lesson, but rather high school its self. Learning to look into a person, rather than at a person is one very important lesson I have learned. Going from being on the dance team and labeled as "popular" to becoming an outcast through my involvement in drama has given me the first hand experience as to why this is so important. Nothing you can see with the human eye is what makes a person. A person is the soul, which you can never meet without a friendly conversation. This is a lesson that I did not learn until I started high school.

Another valuable lesson I have learned is how to somehow manage my time. Although I sometimes let myself down because of lack of time, I have learned to manage my time. I have learned the strength of being able to say no when you have no time, and to do just what is expected, as quickly as possible. If I had never learned to manage my time, then I would do nothing and feel miserable all the time. I would probably have already messed my life up bad at this point in time, and would not even be thinking of college. Without the activities and the workload I never would have learned time management.

A negative experience was my GT English and history class my freshman year of high school. The trauma I went through because of this class has forever scared me of English. I have kept my distance from the subject, because of honest fear. I was told repeatedly that I would fail as an English student, and have fear too much to attempt to prove my teacher wrong. I also did not join the IB program out of fear of continuing with the teachers whom I currently was working with. I have never again experienced trauma since that particular class, but I still shudder at the thought of it. In conclusion, I am a person of many layers, that has barely been tapped into, but hopefully is understood a little better.

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